This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Jada Pinkett Smith is baring all.
The actress and "Red Table Talk" co-host has written a tell-all, "Worthy," which hits bookshelves Oct. 17. The "no holds barred" memoir dives deep into her upbringing in Baltimore, her complicated marriage to Will Smith, her friendship with Tupac Shakur, as well as her past struggles with depression.
"I just wanted to take the opportunity to share my journey," the 52-year-old told Fox News Digital. "I feel like as women, our journeys are still pretty taboo. I don’t think many of us feel safe to share them. So, I wanted to share my journey in hopes it might help somebody through theirs."
WILL SMITH BREAKS SILENCE ON JADA PINKETT SMITH’S MEMOIR: ‘EMOTIONAL BLINDNESS SETS IN’
"This was my journey from feeling unworthy to worthy," she added.
Here are the top confessions Pinkett Smith told Fox News Digital she made in her book:
WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT SMITH HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FOR SEVEN YEARS
At the end of 2016, the couple decided to "separate in every way except legally." While their two children were aware of their decision, the announcement was kept private from the public until now.
"It was heartbreaking," Pinkett Smith admitted. "It was very difficult. And I think that’s why we really wanted to take our time to uncouple consciously in trying to figure out how we wanted to separate. And in that process, we really wanted to learn a lot about ourselves and one another to the point that we eventually decided that we didn’t want to be divorced."
"We’re better than ever," she insisted.
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"And it’s so interesting that sometimes when you go through really, really tough circumstances, and you’re able to weather them together, it can bring you closer in a way that you could never imagine. And so, we’re in a great place."
In the book, Pinkett Smith wrote that she and Smith are "adamantly against divorce."
"If I knew today what I knew yesterday? I guess we all say that, but we were such novices," she said. "I was such a novice when it came to understanding what marriage was about and what a unity is about… I think I would change the idea of thinking that Will was supposed to fulfill my idealism in a certain manner, that Will was supposed to show up for me in a way that I wasn’t willing to show up for myself. And that would be the biggest change because no one can give you or even be additive to something that you don’t have."
When Smith slapped Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars, Pinkett Smith said she was confused, along with everybody else. She thought "the whole confrontation looked fake."
Smith, 55, struck Rock, 58, onstage after the comic poked fun at Pinkett Smith's shaved head. Pinkett Smith has alopecia, which causes hair loss. Smith went on to win the award for Best Actor that night.
"Everybody has had their assumptions and rightfully so," Pinkett Smith explained. "There’s been a lot of information out there, a lot of false narratives. Some, I have to take responsibility for. But there are a lot of misunderstandings. But at that time, it was about focusing on what was needed in the inner sanctum of my world. It wasn’t really about what other people were saying."
The actress claimed she was "unclear" about why Smith was so upset because "we had been living separate lives and were there as a family, not as husband and wife."
"For every special moment in our lives together, we had been there for each other," she wrote. "I welcomed the gift of this opportunity and the continuation of our bond in that way. After all, we were now at six years of not living together as a married couple but still legally married. However, our movement back into therapy and his invitation for me to be at his side for awards season told me that we weren’t ready to give everything up just yet. We still had an inexplicable connection, an attachment that didn’t want to let go. That couldn’t let go."
Following the slap, Pinkett Smith said Denzel Washington and Bradley Cooper went to the actor and "huddled up, trying to ground him." Lupita Nyong’o asked Pinkett Smith if she was "all right" as Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban "hurried over" to make sure she was OK. Ramsey Naito, Tiffany Haddish and Queen Latifah also went over to check in on Pinkett Smith.
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"I can’t tell his story of why he did what he did, but I can tell you it had everything to do with Will’s own personal battles, which unfolded on a world stage," she wrote. "And what I knew, for the first time in six years since our breakup, was that I would stand with him in this storm as his wife, no matter what. I had not felt that way in a long time. I would not abandon him, nor would I fight his fight for him like I had tried to do so many times in the past. This fight was his."
Before the Oscar slap, Pinkett Smith claimed Rock asked her out on a date amid rumors that she and Smith were divorcing.
"Once he found out I wasn’t divorced, we laughed, and he apologized profusely, and life went on," she wrote in the book.
Today, Pinkett Smith is "absolutely" open to a reconciliation between the trio.
"Listen, I’m always up for healing," she explained. "That’s what life’s about. And I feel there’s been a lot of misunderstanding in that area. And life is short. It’s one of those things that I do hope gets clarified and that the three of us can just move on in peace."
WILL SMITH ONCE CONFRONTED JADA PINKETT SMITH'S CO-STAR OVER KISS
According to Pinkett Smith, she doesn’t classify her "entanglement" with August Alsina as an affair because "I associate affairs with cheating." She and Smith were already separated.
"… He was not shy about expressing how he was suffering from depression, unresolved grief, and, later, issues with his health," she wrote about the 31-year-old. "I wanted to help, and since we both had suffered enormous amounts of loss, we met there. This is how a friendship unfolded that, much later, and very unexpectedly, turned romantic."
Pinkett Smith said she "expected" the backlash after she and Smith discussed the relationship on "Red Table Talk."
"I think in this life, what I've learned through that whole journey is that it's really helped me cure my self-judgment around a lot of things because that's really your biggest weapon is how you think and feel about yourself," she said. "So even though there was a lot of misunderstanding and false narratives around that particular ‘Red Table Talk,’ I learned how to embrace it all with a smile and stand 10 toes down on knowing who I am."
NEW BODYCAM VIDEO SHOWS TUPAC SHAKUR MURDER SUSPECT HYPING HIS ALLEGED CRIME
Pinkett Smith shared that the late rapper wrote her a letter while he was in Rikers, asking her to marry him.
"… A few claim to have love 4 me but once again you show me your love," she quoted the letter. "After deep reflection and spiritual awakening, I have come to realize the friend, lover and soulmate was there all the time. I have not seen or felt from anywhere or anyone the intensity & loyalty that you have shown me… I want to commit myself to you. I want to marry you."
Pinkett Smith went on to write that Shakur called her mother "and formally asked for my hand in marriage." When Pinkett Smith learned that she would be expected to do conjugal visits, she and her friend "got to a place of acceptance."
"I was very surprised," she described about her pal’s proposal. "But then I also understood because it wasn’t long after I had visited him at Rikers and I understood why he felt as though he needed to do that, having known him for so long and having been close to him."
In the book, she noted, "I promise you, once he got out of jail, he was glad he didn’t marry me."
When Pinkett Smith reached her 40s, she struggled with deep, dark thoughts to the point that she created a suicide plan. She considered ending her life by driving off a cliff along Mulholland Drive in Los Angeles.
"I think it was just a lot of unresolved trauma," Pinkett Smith reflected. "But it was a lot of different things. And, when we ignore, or we are not taking care of our mental health in a certain way, emotions get compacted. They have no place to go, so they turn against you. And that’s pretty much what happened to me."
When asked how she was doing today, Pinkett Smith replied, "I’m fantastic."
In the book, Pinkett Smith credited ayahuasca, a plant-based psychedelic that is mostly illegal in the U.S., for helping her heal.
"[Ayahuasca] guides you to the love of self and to the magic of Divine love," she wrote. "Ayahuasca opens portals to lost worlds where the language of love and magic dwells… It bears repeating that ayahuasca is not the only pathway to magic, though it’s a medicine that can help you find your inner magic of transformation. It’s a medicine that has worked for me, but it’s not necessarily a medicine for everyone."
Looking back at her son’s decision to leave the nest, Pinkett Smith said she has zero regrets, stressing, "I’m so proud of him." It was his level of maturity that she said put her at ease to let him venture out on his own.
"That’s not to say that I would’ve let Willow leave the house at 15," she laughed. "It’s about looking at each child and seeing what each child needs, versus trying to follow this outline or this program of what 15-year-olds should be doing… That works for some kids, but some kids need something different… And he is very much like myself."
"I had a lot of freedom at that age," she said, pointing out that she moved to Los Angeles at age 18 and "built something for myself."
"And I knew Jaden would do the same thing," she said. "His father did the same thing. So I’m so proud of him and I feel the right decision was made. Now, I wouldn’t suggest that parents do that with their 15-year-olds. But it just so happened that my 15-year-old was ready for a certain journey."
