An anonymous bride reportedly turned to a wedding-focused Facebook group to ask if she was "being unreasonable" for becoming angry at one of her bridesmaids for getting pregnant after the bride explicitly asked all of her wedding participants to refrain from doing so ahead of her big day.
The bride's inquiry was shown in a screenshot and shared on the "Wedding Shaming" subreddit, a 535,400-member Reddit forum where anonymous users shame wedding themes, brides, grooms, guests and vendors for controversial plans and behavior.
"Bride is upset when she can’t control the family planning of her party," a Reddit user captioned the Facebook post on Saturday, June 3 — which to date has received more than 970 upvotes and a "Bridezilla/Groomzilla" label.
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The anonymous bride wrote that she knows she "can’t stop anyone from becoming pregnant" — but even so, she said she still doesn’t want any pregnant women at her wedding.
"From the very beginning, several times before, I even asked my girls if they were OK with waiting to have babies or another baby until after the wedding," the bride wrote. "I just wanted no stress on dealing with if dresses fit correctly and what not."
"One of my bridesmaids hid it from me for a few weeks before she ever said anything and my wedding is a few months away," the bride continued.
"Am I wrong to be upset because she's making me feel like I am? I'm happy for her but I just wish she didn't keep it from me and lie to me & expect me to still have her."
The Reddit post has generated over 100 comments — and nearly all the commenters believe the bride is being unreasonable and has overstepped.
A Reddit user who claims to be a member of the same wedding group wrote that the anonymous bride "was called entitled, selfish [and a] bad friend."
Similar thoughts were shared on Reddit with various written diatribes.
"My sister-in-law was SO nervous to tell me she had gotten pregnant like six months before my wedding, because of b------- like this," one Reddit user wrote. "I was thrilled and her bump is a great addition to all the photos."
"Ewwww. You don’t have your friends in your wedding party for aesthetics," another user wrote. "You have them there because they’re who you want by your side on one of the best days of your life. No matter what. The attitude of some brides stink."
Said another user, "She’s basically upset because she won’t get the photos she wants because of how someone looks. Would she also be mad if someone broke their arm or leg & had a cast?"
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"Brides pick a date years in the future and expect you to follow terms for a meaningless position," one Reddit user quipped.
"Right? If you don’t want anyone to be pregnant at your wedding then get married quickly when no one is pregnant," another user replied. "You can’t plan even months ahead and expect everyone to put their lives on hold for you!"
Several Reddit users wrote that they weren’t bothered and were even overjoyed to have pregnant bridesmaids and guests at their weddings.
However, some people noted that they only became concerned when pregnant guests attended weddings despite doctors advising them not to do so.
Other Reddit commenters pointed out that wedding party drama is a big reason they decline bridesmaid proposals or celebrate when couples decide to not have bridesmaids or groomsmen.
"For the original story, I think it is very telling that the bridesmaid hid her pregnancy as long as she could because she knew her friend would react that way," one Reddit user wrote.
Cautious parents-to-be generally wait until the end of the first trimester to announce a pregnancy, according to Healthline, an online health information provider.
"I'd pretend I was pregnant even if I wasn't, just to get out of being her bridesmaid," one Reddit user commented.
Said another, "The bride gives the whole, ‘It's my birthday month,’ ‘It's my wedding year’ vibes. Like grow up, please. It's possible to be happy for others and yourself at the same time and it is still your day."
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The Reddit post also received sarcastic responses from social media users who wanted to illustrate other unreasonable requests that can be asked by future brides and grooms.
"Make a deal. You won't be pregnant in her bridal party as long as she doesn't steal your thunder by ever having a baby," one Reddit user wrote.
"I'll also make sure to tell my [sister-in-law] she better get in shape quick, too, because she's having a baby like two months before our wedding. But not tooooooo in shape. I need all my bridesmaids to look hot but not too hot," said another user.
Very few Reddit users showed understanding toward the anonymous bride, but the meager responses that are present in the comment thread appear to be leveled.
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"She can’t expect women to plan their pregnancy around her wedding, but she has the right to choose not to include pregnant women in her bridal party," one Reddit user wrote, which received downvotes from the group.
"Trying to control who can get pregnant is absurd," another user wrote. "However, if the friend knows the bride is like this, then why agree to be a bridesmaid then not be honest that she's expecting?"
"I mean ... I can kind of understand this. A lot of planning goes into a wedding," a Reddit user wrote. "Then add in tailoring a bridesmaid dress?"
The Reddit user continued, "But, at the same time, trying to keep your bridesmaids from getting pregnant is not something you can control. People will get pregnant with or without the bride or groom’s permission. Don't be a jerk about it."
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Said another commenter, "If someone in your wedding party is pregnant, suck it up and deal with it. At the very least, if you've bought an expensive dress for her that has to be altered or exchanged because of her pregnancy, sit down and discuss it with her like adults."
