Jennifer Esposito admitted she refused to audition for "The Sopranos."
The 50-year-old actor reflected on how she grew up in the center of organized crime in Staten Island and did not want to remember the harrowing times.
"I chose to not go up for it when they would call me in because it was like ‘I can’t relive this,’" Esposito said during an interview with Variety.
"The girls I grew up around wanted to kill me, wanted to kill me every day…it was PTSD."
The "Blue Bloods" star recalled being filled with "anger and rage" during her childhood.
"Staten Island is the same Staten Island from when I left when I was 18 years old," she continued.
"It’s still the same place. You need to understand that nothing leaves this island. It’s a very strange time warp of a place."
Esposito confessed she did have a few regrets about not auditioning for "The Sopranos" after it became a legendary series.
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"They wanted me to come in a few times for certain things, and I was like, ‘No. The way you’re portraying Italian culture? Oh, get over yourself. Really?’" Esposito said.
"It was an amazing show. But you’re a kid. You don’t see that. Of course, I look back, and it’s like, ‘That was stupid.’"
What Esposito did enjoy about the hit crime drama, was a certain character.
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"The only thing that used to make me crazy about the show when I did watch it was the character of Meadow because she was very nice."
Recognized as one of television’s essential dramas, David Chase’s "The Sopranos" followed James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano -- husband, father, and mob boss. The series aired for six seasons.
After she rejected the popular mob show, Esposito went on to star in other television hits, including "Spin City" and the Oscar-winning film "Crash."
Currently, Esposito is set to make her directorial debut in an indie drama titled "Fresh Kills."
The film focuses on two sisters and their mother coping with life changes as the girls’ mafia boss father goes to jail.
