Happy Monday. Oh, you're all so, so beautiful. So beautiful – I'm talking to myself. So it's bagpipes versus crack pipes. Hunter Biden has finally put some pants on and is now suing Delaware repair shop owner John Paul Mac Isaac. What happened to George and Ringo? A lot of names. He's being sued for invasion of privacy. Yes, Hunter is suing him for invasion of privacy. Hunter who's been seen nude by more people than the statue of David. Honestly, in the last year, I've seen this guy's genitals more times than his primary care physician. And I would get that checked out. He's invaded my privacy, the privacy of my own nightmares.
As you know, Mr. Mac Isaac claimed Hunter dropped off a laptop for repair in April 2019 and then never came back. Mac Isaac even has an invoice with Hunter's signature, although those pages are stuck together. But for once, Hunter signed on the line instead of snorting it. The laptop contained not only salacious photos and videos of the naughtiest little Biden cavorting with hookers and crack but also copious evidence of the Biden family's massive international corruption. Specifically, the family received over a million bucks from accounts linked to Hunter's Chinese business associates. And finally, even CNN admits that you know, on a certain level, just as a layperson, you hear this and it doesn't sound good.
CNN CLIP: On a certain level, and just as a layperson, you hear this and it doesn't sound good. There's a guy whose name is John Robertson Walker. He gets $3 million from a Chinese-based company and proceeds to wire it out to a bunch of people named Biden, one of whom is Hunter Biden. Another one is a company that belongs to the president's brother, James Biden, and another amount of money to Beau Biden's widow, Hallie. So, again, from a layperson that doesn't look good.
She's a layperson. She's a layperson twice. Of course, the Biden 2020 campaign and every liberal journalist in the world insisted without evidence that the laptop's contents were Russian disinfo. When really the only thing Russian on that laptop were probably the hookers.
MEDIA CLIP MONTAGE: Hunter Biden. This laptop that intelligence officials have warned is likely Russian disinformation are tied to an ongoing Russian disinformation effort. Could actually be part of Russia's latest and very massive disinformation campaign. U.S. authorities are seeing if those emails we just talked about are connected to an ongoing Russian disinformation effort. It's sort of a crazy quilt at this point which has all the hallmarks of Russian disinformation.
Ooo, a crazy quilt with all the hallmarks. Sounds like something Don Lemon wears on spring break. Of course, that disinfo claim was ridiculous to begin with. I mean, what was the theory supposed to be anyway? That Putin set up a fake computer repair shop in Wilmington, just on the remote chance that a decade later, a presidential candidate's crackhead son would stumble inside and abandon a bunch of juicy evidence that might swing a presidential election? That conspiracy theory is as thin as Joe's hair on his head. But also, Hunter wouldn't sue anybody for violating his privacy if it's fake evidence planted by the Russkies, right? And now all the news outlets that push the Russia disinfo lie are just pretending they never made that claim. Which suggests that Joe's dementia was always more contagious than COVID. So you know what I've noticed lately? We were right about everything. And by we, I mean me, also you, if you agree with me. If you don't, go screw yourself. Let's go over a few other stories we nail that the rest of the media didn't. For example, TikTok is indeed spying on us for the Chinese government. I wouldn't applaud that.
Now, I'm not on TikTok for obvious reasons. First, I'm not a 14-year-old girl- yet. Still waiting for the puberty blockers. But if I were, the Chinese government would be doing to me what they're doing to other American girls- messing with their heads. But also, I don't want the Chinese Communist Party watching me while I'm alone in my apartment. I mean, what if Taylor Swift realizes I did keep her sweatshirt? But that ChiCom spy app has rapidly become an essential part of American Life. Or at least Gretchen Whitmer's advisers think so.
TIKTOK COMPILATION OF GRETCHEN WHITMER: These are my ladies. This is Jill. This is my lady Amy. Little Susie. Brianna. You know why we go to Brianna right now? It's a long story. Shaniqua. Helga. This Kitty. Jeannie, I dream of that.
Well, you know, that's one way to keep the kidnappers at bay – by making them nauseous. But Dems love their TikTok and they're distraught that the White House might ban it because now Joe [is] finally admitting that China is our enemy. They planted a spy in every cell phone in America, and it's not racist now to notice that. Just the name of the app alone kind of gave it away- TikTok- as in time is running out on your world dominance America. Speaking of China, COVID-19. Yes, was a lab leak. Not too long ago you weren't even allowed to speculate that the virus was made by human hands, especially the tiny ones of Anthony Fauci when he wasn't practicing his autograph.
VIDEO ANTHONY FAUCI: Look, a fairly large group of very well-respected evolutionary virologists have come to the conclusion, not definitively by any means, but feeling that it is much more likely that it is a natural occurrence from an animal to a human. However, since it hasn't been definitively proven, we've got to keep a completely open mind.
Oh, okay. So now it's ok to have an open mind because remember, it wasn't before, you know, it was bat soup or you are a racist. So there's an entire multibillion-dollar industry devoted to dismissing everything we say. And those accusing us follow a pattern. They first define our opinions as not worthy of debate, using disinformation as a smear. And if that doesn't work, they call it hate speech. But we were right. They pretend they're the ones who are right all along instead. It's as if they're so dumb they think all they have to do is repeat 'That's not true.'
VIDEO OF JOY REID: It's not true. It is not a tweet. That is actually not true. No, it's actually not. No, it's actually not true. It's actually not. That's actually not true. That's actually not true. That's actually not.
It's like she's reading her old bigoted blog posts to her gay friends. So the liberal media has a huge blind spot. It's called the truth. And no matter how many times they get it wrong and try to silence us for saying so, they still expect us to trust them. So once in a while, it feels nice to bask in being proven right. If vindication were chocolate cake, I'd look like this guy.
PICTURE OF BRIAN STELTER