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Reddit post about grown kids reveals parents' biggest regrets — and it's not what you think

A Reddit user took to that social media platform to ask other Redditors about how their adult kids turned out — and if they could attribute results to their parenting. Here are some surprises.

A Reddit user recently turned to the social media platform’s "parenting" subreddit to ask a question of others: "When you see how your kids turned out as adults, are you able to connect it to specific ways you raised them, in either good or bad ways?"

The Redditor posting that question, who goes by the username "Spoonerize_Duck_Fat," then asked, "What advice do you have for raising kids in the right ways?"

One father of adult children from the Boston area said that too many parenting regrets are both "painful" and "unproductive."

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The dad of three sons told Fox News Digital, "A parent who has regrets is a parent who loves. Perhaps they see an adult child struggle in one specific area, and they wonder, ‘Was I a weak parent there — would things have been easier if I had done X, Y or Z?"

He added, "That said, we tend to blame ourselves and not congratulate ourselves. When your adult child has success or a deep sense of happiness, we should look at ourselves and say, ‘Maybe I had something to do with that.'"

A mother of four grown kids in the New York City area told Fox News Digital about her situation, "I know we tried to do the very best we could." 

She added about her husband and herself, "Were we perfect parents? I'm sure we weren't. But we tried our hardest, and that counts for a lot! And we still do," she added. 

"The parenting never actually stops. It just becomes different" when the kids get older, she said.

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She, too — like the Boston-area dad — mentioned that parents should pat themselves on the back a bit for the good things they might have contributed to, in one way or another. 

Others chimed in on the parenting post on Reddit. 

"I’ll share the answer for myself and my dad," replied one Redditor, noting that he is a 29-year-old male and his dad is in his 50s.

"He shared with me two years ago or so that he wished he’d ‘done more’ with us," he wrote. 

"He wishes he’d taken us on trips and vacations and to go bowling or the zoo, etc.," the commenter continued. "He feels badly about that. I think money was tight, and that was a big factor. He now says, ‘If you wait until you can afford it, it’ll never happen.’"

"My answer," he continued, "[is that] I wish I had more one-on-one time with my dad. Everything involved my brother and two stepbrothers."

Another Reddit user answered the post, writing, "Before he passed, my dad told me he regretted having spent so much time at work."

He continued, "He said he felt like he always had to ‘slay the dragon.’ He wished he'd left things for another day or just realized it wasn't really that important after all, so he could have spent more time with us." 

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"My husband and I have really taken that to heart," the poster continued, "because neither of us wants to turn into Harry Chapin's ‘Cat's in the Cradle.’"

Still another answered, "My son is 27. Honestly? I regret not being more relaxed."

"I regret worrying, wondering, stressing and thinking about all the things all the time," the commenter continued.

"In the grand scheme of things, he didn’t have to drink that exact number of ounces in that exact amount of time every single time or else the world would end," the commenter continued.

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"He didn’t have to do every single thing every single way it was recommended. He could have missed a few more naps. He could have missed a few more school days."

The commenter added, "I could have been more focused on what was working for us as a family and him as an individual as opposed to what was — supposed — to be working."

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